"This is why you breathe and I don't"

"I am in no mood right now."

"It's solid like my buttocks"

"I'm not eating her donut"

"I will mandarin you"

"I am a death machine"

"I believe in blunt force"

"You must have Keratin-rich nasal hair!"

"Fuck you and your contract I'm off to be a pirate"

"You bring the candles, I'll bring the romance"

"Your bacon brings all the boys to the yard"

"Can I have a poofter?"

"Ooh look I can unscrew my skull!"

"There is a jif party in my mouth!"

"I will rinse all over you"

"It's a good thing my balls are magnetically attracted to each other"